Living through a nightmare

What do you do, when you are stuck in an alien country amongst monster aliens who seem to be born with the sole purpose of breaking you down? Do you take the easy (and obviously the wrong) way out, or do you fight it out? Well, if under any other circumstance somebody asked me this question, I would have said – fight it out, ALWAYS, because that’s what will let you sleep peacefully at night.
But it’s hard to be so objective when it’s your own life which seems to be in a mess.

I landed at Jakarta airport on 26th of April. In spite of my absolute reluctance to travel and repeated & desperate efforts, I couldn’t cancel the Indonesia trip. I have been paranoid about travelling to Indonesia ever since I heard (on news channels in Australia, in 2005) about the trial of a 22 year old Australian girl who was charged of Drug trafficking (and handed 20 years rigorous imprisonment) at the Bali airport – she claimed that she didn’t even know how that packet got there – her only fault was that she checked in her luggage without locking it). Needless to say, I had double locked my check-in baggage!!!

So I land at the airport and proceed towards the ‘visa on arrival’ counter. After a 20 min wait, I handed over my passport to the lady on the other side of the counter. And then it all began – she stared at my passport for a good while, before turning it upside down and pulling it in all directions. For a while I was scared that she might tear it – so I said, ‘Ma’am, please be careful’. (Mistake 1)
With offended looks, she asked me to wait aside, while she phoned her supervisor. I stood by the side, while every passer by gave me the ‘awww-poor-you’ looks.

A police officer appeared after a generous while, and said “Purpose”. In the best of my brains, I tried to decipher, and all that I could come up with was Business”. He said something which I could understand, so I said ‘sorry?’ and THAT offended him. Ok. Ok. I accept. I said it in my typical FIC tone. (Mistake 2)

Well, apparently they get offended at everything you say, so the best thing to do is to keep shut I guess.

Officer: ^%$$R^%$ (screaming at the top of his voice in an incomprehensible language)
Me: Can you please get me someone who speaks English? (Mistake 3)
Officer: Follow me (so you do speak English, you a***hole)

I followed him to a room, where I saw 5 more of those. This is when I showed first signs of panic (Mistake 4).

Me: Why should I get in that room?
Officer 1: Come in. We need to ask you some questions.
Me: Ok. (I sit down on a chair, while the 6 of them stand surrounding me)
Officer 1: So why are you here?
Me: I came here for business
Officer 2: Everyone says that... What business?
Me: I work for a Mobile company and am here for a meeting.
Officer 1: Which company? Show your company id.
Me: I am not carrying my company id. Will a business card do? (Why would I carry my access card to Jakarta!!!!)
Officer 1: No good.
Me: Ok.
Officer 1: Why does your passport have no pages?
Me: Because unfortunately (On any other occasion I would have thought that it was fortunate, but this was clearly unfortunate) my job requires me to travel quite a lot. But I do have half a page left. You can stamp the visa on that one!
Officer 3: Did you not know that you need one full page?
Me: No I did not. I have never been to Indonesia before. I thought you can stamp on half a page. Officer: What visa can be stamped on half page?
Me: Well, Malaysia does it!!! (Mistake 5)
Officer 1: WE ARE NOT MALAYSIA (you didn’t have to scream like that, you bas^%&d, I can hear you perfectly clear)
Officer 3: What business is this that takes you to so many countries?
Me: Like I said, I work for a mobile company, and I need to travel for business
Officer 1: And what do you carry on your trips?
Me: My clothes and a laptop!!! (What’s with you f%^&ers, do you travel in your underwear or what!!!)
Officer 2: Not clothes. Anything else?
Me: What else?
Officer 1: That’s what we are asking you.
Me: (more signs of panic) What are you trying to say?
Officer 2: We are not trying to say anything. We just want the truth.
Me: BUT THIS IS THE TRUTH (Mistake 6)
Officer 1: Watch your tongue Lady!!!
Me: Can you please let me talk to someone in India?
Officer 4: NO (Ok, so you can speak too!)
Me: But why not?
Officer 4: Because we are not finished with our questions?
Me: And why are you asking me so many questions? WHAT DO YOU WANT? (Tears in my eyes - almost - Well, I did do a good job of putting a brave front till now)
Officer 1: There is an easy way out and a hard one. Which one do you want?
Me: ???? (Puzzled look on my face – too shocked and too scared to speak)
Officer 1: You have seen the hard way. If you don’t cooperate, we might have to keep you here longer. (You have already kept me in this interrogation room for almost an hour, you F&^%$er!!!)
Me: No you can't keep me here. I need to talk to the Indian embassy, please?
Officer 1: Sorry Ma'am.
Me: *sigh* OK. What’s the easy way?
Officer 1: You give $300 and we let you go.
Me: WHAT???? $300?? But I don’t have that money!! (So all this shit was just about money, what F*&^%ers!!)
Officer 1: Then I am sorry ma’am. You will have to be here till you are deported.
Me: And how long will that be?
Officer 1: 1 or 2 days. May be longer. I am not sure.
Me: But there HAS to be another way
Officer 1: We already told you. (Panic releases - OK so it’s not that bad. I can get out of this shit with some bribe)

Strongly against drugs as I am, for the first time I ever thought, maybe the Australian really WAS innocent, but we will never know!!!!

Yeah, I did survive this nightmare and I must admit that I had a guardian angel by my side that they didn’t choose to charge me of some insane crime.

I emptied my wallet, begged, pleaded, screamed, cried, swore, cursed – managed to get out for $150.

I hate myself for being a part of the bribing exercise. Because I gave in, they will try the same thing on someone else some other time.

But like I said, it’s hard to be objective when it’s your own life. Maybe I wasn’t strong enough to live up to my own principles.

Is it too much...

1. To expect that people should have a minimum level of IQ (and common sense) before you can talk to them?

2. To expect that you would come to work because you are passionate about what you are doing, and not because there was nothing better to do in life?

3. To believe that an office is a place where you would come to prove YOUR worth, and NOT to disprove anyone else's?

4. To think that games are to be played at playing fields, and NOT at work places?

Just thinking aloud .......

Good Friday

6th was a “Good Friday” and literally so!
The day began with a lazy morning; followed by a sumptuous breakfast – Gobhi ka paratha – and better still, self-cooked!!! Dunno about others (at least they didn’t complain of stomach aches), but I just loved it!!!
Went for a nice and a warm face and body message. It can be so refreshing – for the body AND the soul!!!

What came as the biggest surprise (and pleasure) was a 10 min long conversation with someone. It’s a strange feeling when you unknowingly and unwillingly get into a conversation with someone (who you thought was the last person on earth to get into a casual conversation with) about something (that you thought this person could NEVER relate to).

Well, maybe I am not making a lot of sense… but then that’s the way it is. Some things in life are NOT supposed to make any sense.
And the love of the life is this – moments that don’t make any sense, turn out to be the most sensible moments in your life.

There aren't any stupid questions.....

Only stupid people.....

It's the beginning of an end

and I feel it!

It’s a question of a question..

It’s a question of a question,
Ek sawal ka sawal hai,
Aisa sawal jo zindagi badal de!!!

This is a song featuring Shahrukh khan, released for advertising KBC-2. I am sure most of you would have heard it, and a few would have loved it too!
I love it and it’s not coz it has Shahruk, looking really cool and delicious (Yummmm); but coz every time I listen to the song, I wonder if there can be any one question important enough to change a life?
And I always wonder – Am I insane if I have multiple questions which can decide the course of my life? Are the questions too complicated to find answers to? Or am I too dumb to answer those questions?
Or is it better that I do not have the answers? It would change my life, but do I want it changed?
And if I do not wish to face it, then why do I ask myself those questions?

Why????

The Barcelona trip,Feb 2007

I have been meaning to write for a long time, but haven’t had a chance, owing to the lack of time; or should I say lack of ‘me-time’.
I have been busy with a lot of things, a quick trip to Barcelona for the 3GSM congress, being just one of them. And the trip has compelled me to write this piece – at the cost of suspending the other post that I was so engrossed in.

So in effect, while you may get to read this post before the other one, the latter was conceived much before.

Back to the point – this post is about the Barcelona trip. No, this is not a travelogue – for various reasons. For one, it misses the description of (beautiful / scenic) places that form the essential ingredient of any travelogue. Why? – Just because we didn’t see any places!!!!
I will tell you what this is – this is about keeping your spirits alive when you are at your all-time low. This is about how life changes your attitude in a matter of 4 days. It’s about being locked in the same house with someone you thought you couldn’t stand, only to discover that life isn’t so bad after all! This is the transition from not seeing eye-to-eye, to knowing each other a little better; about accepting to yourself that there always is another side to everything – what matters is, which side you are on!

Fact- 1:
The trip started with a 2 hour wait at the airport, only to realize that we have to shell out 72K for excess baggage (this is when we weren’t even carrying enough clothes to keep us warm!). What a beginning! I offer no comments regarding the flight, save one – “given an option, I would never fly Alitalia again!” We landed in Barcelona with 280Kgs of luggage amongst the 5 of us! Spent 4 hours on the roads, while an apartment was arranged; Skipped lunch on 4 out of 5 days; carried more luggage on our backs than the weight of all us combined; did the dishes (I am sure my husband was a part of the conspiracy, just to ensure that I learn some household manners!!); vacuumed the carpet, and the list is endless (& useless).

In short – after spending 70% of my corporate-life travelling, this was the worst trip I have had.

Fact - 2:
Even when we were dazed, tired, sleepy and hungry, smiles never left our faces. While, I firmly believe that individually we would have lost it, collectively we laughed it off!! I still smile when I think of the time we spent discussing our misery and standing up for each other.

Things I won’t forget in a hurry:

- The “toilet in-out register”: We had to sing while using the loo, to avoid double-occupancy.
- The 5.00 am loo encounter! Also the R & A loo encounter!

- “Shant Gadadhari Bheem, Shant” was the most commonly used phrase, almost always followed by a deafening laughter!!!!!!

- The M “dangling” S, and her loo preferences
- Especially the “10-champagnes-down” M!!! And how M almost “froze to death”!!!!

- AH refused to come home at nights, for reasons best known to him (and to all of us!) The rare nights when he WAS home, his phone battery would drain out!!! And we enjoyed the way his face would light up when he received “the” calls, and he would sneak out of the room, while we tried to eavesdrop.
- The “Oil Vs Gel” and the absolute necessity to use them (it’s for his hair!! Not your fault if you thought otherwise; if you know AH, you are bound to think that way!)
- We learnt that the sky can be grey, blue and even scattered with berries on some days!

- “Ek sookhi nahi hia” I won’t elaborate on this one, lest AJ kill me.
- The superman T-shirt and the superman song!- “dheden, dheden”
- AJ scared the shit out of me, when he walked in drunk, and almost collapsed (on me)! And he still refuses to accept that he was "tipsy".

- How the yellow paper folder was ‘heavier’ than the 42” plasma TV!!!
- Not to forget the “Maria shots”

- “Big brother” was almost always the big bro, keeping the group together, and trying to sort out the tiffs. And how there was “1 ka 5 big-bro”

In short – after spending 70% of my corporate-life travelling, this was the best trip I have had.

Lesson Learnt:

Two hours with the ones you like to be with, can relieve you of the day's stress and recharge your soul!
We are a team, we work as a team and we live as a team!!!!!!

Monday is a Holiday!!

As Thursday approaches, I have a sinking feeling that the week is about to end and Monday is approaching!!!! Weird, I know.. very weird.. Unlike many others to whom, Thursday brings smiles, I skip the weekend and jump straight to the Monday. I guess when you are working on Saturdays, you loose the weekend perspective.

Since the time I remember, I have hated Monday mornings. I do not recollect how this started, but even when I was a kid, somehow Monday seemed to have all the lectures that I hated; I never managed to complete the assignments which were due on a Monday; exams always started on a Monday; and the lists of the things I detested about Monday was endless.

Now as a grown up, I still hate Mondays – there are those Monday morning meetings (why can’t they have it on a Tuesday!!) which I sleep through, the boss always seems to be in a terrible mood (Why can’t Sunday cheer him up!) and the juniors always seem to be in a party mood (Why can’t they just get their arses on their chairs and work for heaven’s sake – Sunday is OVER); clients always point out your faults on a Monday morning (and the fault can invariably be traced to one of your team members, and that too is somehow your fault!!)…
Monday is a day when u get screamed at, when u scream at others (and u know that they are calling you a bitch, every time they meet their colleagues in the loo); and it seems that no one except you is working.

I have spent numerous hours thinking how this can be changed. Every Sunday evening, I promise myself that I will be less of a bitch this week. Every Monday, I walk into the office reminding myself that I have to smile a lot today; I power up my laptop repeating “I will be nice”, and then it all starts. There is a stinker in my inbox. Something is screwed up. I look around to see my team, and no one has come in as yet (it’s already 9.45 am, where the hell are you guys!!!). I have to attend the Monday morning meeting in 15 minutes and I am running around desperately to fix up things. I enter the meeting room and the look at my boss’s face tells me that he has already read the email. The rest is history. I walk out of the room, looking for someone, and tell myself – he deserves to be kicked in the arse, how I can ever be good to him!!!!! and that’s the end of the niceness in me.

I hope that the next week starts at a better note – for one, it will begin on a Tuesday! And two, it will also be the beginning of a new year, and I resolve to SMILE a lot.

Take me home...

I am dead tired.. Had an eventful (dunno if thats a gud or a bad thing) and an extremely hectic week… Have reached home near midnight every single day. Its all part of settling into your new job, new profile, I guess. There is physical fatigue and then there is mental fatigue!!
At the going pace, I will be dead soon…working 6 days a week (with fools!) will kill me. . It’s been ages since I last worked on a Saturday. I have always believed that it is criminal to come to office on Saturdays, but unfortunately no one else here seems to share my views. *Sigh*

It’s a Friday evening and I am in office.. I have forgotten what it feels like to spend a Friday night in a disc with blaring music and unlimited alcohol, knowing that you have 2 full days to cope up with your hangover.

I am so tired, I can’t even type…. I can’t…. help!

Worli roads, take me home!!!!

I am gay today!!

No, not the ‘gay’ gay... I mean the ‘happy’ gay!!!
I am happy! This has been a wierd week for me… the work hasn’t been any less hectic, it’s the same... I even got drunk on weeknights, had terrible hangovers in office the next day, been dead tired… but I am happy despite all this. Or maybe, I have been happy because of this tiring schedule…one thing about being extremely busy is - you never have time for any negative thoughts!!!!!... who knows, and who cares!!!! The bottom line is that I FEEL HAPPY!!!!!

Saturday is a relatively lighter day for me... giving me time to do some thinking and I can put down my thoughts here.. I love these days when u can be happy for no obvious reason... when everything around u is going wrong but u are still smiling.. for me, these are the days when your spirit is at its cheerful best.. And of course, you are yourself!

What's your salary?

This is the nth time I have been asked this – “Don’t mind please, but what’s your salary?” And as always, I am left clueless as to how am I supposed to tackle this question diplomatically.

What comes to my mind is this – “You f$%#er, I am not a great friend of yours, nor do I intend to be one. It is my bloody problem to see how much I get paid.. and let me handle it. So why don’t you just mind your own f$%#ing business and leave my salary to my humble self.”

But what I end up saying is this - “Well, *a constipated smile*.. ahem… I guess it’s enough to keep me happy.. *smile*”

Just why cant people understand that there is a subtle line drawn at the work place. You are not supposed to ask such awkward questions amongst your colleagues. And if it’s your senior, you are surely NOT supposed to ask such awkward questions.

My dear, a friendly piece of advice.. I will not tell you, what my salary is today.. but I most certainly will decide yours when its appraisal time!!!!!

I am being killed!!!!!!!!

“Idiots in the office are just as hazardous to your health as cigarettes, caffeine or greasy food, an eye-opening new study reveals. In fact those dopes can kill you!”
- From the article ‘Working with fools can kill you!’
http://www.clarkhatchthailand.com/TH_healthtips_vol53.htm

I want to laugh .. . I want to roll on the floor and scream my lungs out till tears roll down my eyes… It’s that day of the month… no not THAT day… I meant that day of the month, when you feel like pulling your hair apart.. When you reach your tolerance limits and beyond that.. when you discover the nerves, u never knew existed in your skull… when there is nothing you can do.. when u go hysteric…and u want to laugh .. at your own plight!!!!

“You can cut back on smoking or improve your diet but most people have very poor coping skills when it comes to stupidity - they feel there is nothing they can do about it, so they internalize their frustration until they finally explode. Many people feel sorry for the drooling idiots they work with, so they try to cover for them by fixing their mistakes”
- From the article ‘Working with fools can kill you!’

I have to admit that when I first read the above article, I thought this was some kind of a joke.. but I owe the authors an apology for doubting the authenticity and seriousness of their work. Forgive me, O learned ones, forgive me, for I knew not that they existed!!!

Its been only 10 days in my new job.. and I am already writing this.. I am surprised at myself .. and I am surprised at those who have driven me to this… I am compelled to believe that there will be a day when the world will be full of idiots, because the other species will perish under the stress levels that idiots will cause them.
Hail stupidity!!! Hail idiocy!!! Death to excellence!! Hail mediocrity!!! Stupidity is the greatest virtue of all. While it helps you eliminate competition from work (it’s difficult to cope with your stupidity – they will either quit or join your genre), it also helps you to be ignorant of the damage you are doing to the world. And ignorance is bliss, remember!!!!

I couldn’t agree more that most people have poor coping skills when it comes to stupidity.. And I have no qualms in saying that my capacity for the same is near zero (call me a bad manager if that makes u feel better!). The only disagreement I have is that I don’t feel sorry for idiots. I feel sorry for those around them.. I feel sorry for myself for being in the same place as them!!! And I don’t want to cover up for idiots... I want to eliminate them.. I strongly believe that they have no right to exist.. if you cant survive on your own, you should not be allowed to survive.. Believe me, it’s a war; we have to kill them, before they kill us. There has to be and I repeat, has to be the “survival of the fittest” rule in life. (Am I sounding like Hitler???!!!! Oh god, no!!!)

It’s time we took some lessons from Mother Nature. She had intended that only the best of all species should survive. If you let the weaker ones exist, they ruin everything (and everyone) surrounding them and deteriorate the coming generations. Mediocrity becomes acceptable and non-performance becomes an attitude.

The entire animal kingdom (with the exception of mankind) follows the ground rules laid down by nature. In a pack of lions, only the healthy cubs are allowed to live. When they grow up, they are not spoon-fed. They have to hunt for themselves. If they can’t feed themselves, they will perish. When lions wish to mate, they have to prove themselves and win the female. The lioness allows only the best of the lot to mate with her so that she can pass on the best genes to her off-springs. The weaker ones do not breed, thus ensuring that only the best generations follow.
We, humans, have screwed it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S.: If any of you is wondering why am I over reacting, you have to step in my shoes. I promise, the lunch is on me!!!!
If any of my bosses is reading it, I must tell you that I am not such a bad manager after all :). Thanks to my acting skills!!!!

Welcome home

I am back after the 2-month long self-imposed exile. People who care for me (or at least I think that they do) have been complaining about my disappearing act .. and the fact that I chose not to talk to anybody (it’s the “you could have talked to ‘ME’ at least!! I thought we were the closest buddies” kind of accusations).

Well.. I needed the time with myself … I needed the time away from everything else.. away from everyone else.. I needed to mourn the death of something… death of the goodness in me.

Just when I was learning to care; was beginning to be less cynical about life and people; just when I was transitioning from the formal ‘good-to-see-u-smile’ - that I have perfected over years in a sales role - to a broader ‘love-my-life’ smile – I crash landed into the “Fuck-I-care” zone, which I was so desperately trying to get out of.... It hurt a lot, I broke a few bones.. killed a few emotions.. but I survived. It was a painful and a slow recovery .. but I survived none-the-less.

I am fully recovered now, back in action.. and happily settled in my FIC zone.
Welcome home, MJS.

...

The tele soaps are a good watch.. one can have a hearty laugh. The loud makeup and horibble acting, along with the storyline (if there is any) is like a comedy show. I was taking my daily dose of laughter last night when a character in the soap said something which drew my attention...

"Its better to let go than to lose"

Now it is very unlikely that the soaps can have any sensible thing.. and surely this sentence was not said in the context I wish to use it; but it made sense anyway. Let me not say anything of the context... I will let it be as vague as it is supposed to be.

A thought .. or way of life..

Some moments are not to be remembered... they are to be experienced; Some days are not to be cherished... they are to be lived; Some people are not to be loved... they are to be worshipped.

....

“I feel nothing of the kind. I owe you an apology. I don’t usually let things happen to me. I made a mistake this time. I shouldn’t have waited for you to throw me out. I should have left long ago.”

- from “The fountainhead” by Ayn Rand

I couldn't help mentioning this line here. When I read this.. everything was so clear.. and I knew that I couldn't blame anyone else but me. And it felt strange and disgusting that I had forgotten the underlying principal of my life... I have always lived by my rules.. and I guess I needed something written down by someone else, to remind me of them!!!

“I’ve given up, and I am not afraid. Only there’s something I would like to understand. And I don’t think anyone can explain it. You see, I know it’s the end for me. I know it, but I can’t quite believe it, I can’t feel it. It’s so strange. There’s your life. You begin it, feeling that it’s something so precious and rare, so beautiful that it’s like a sacred treasure. Now it’s over, and it doesn’t make any difference to anyone, and it isn’t that they are indifferent, it’s just that they don’t know what it means, that treasure of mine, and there’s something about it that they should understand. I don’t understand it myself, but there’s something that should be understood by all of us. Only, what is it? …What?” -

- from “We the Living” by Ayn Rand

It’s all about the Perception…

I had written this post on Aug 23, but couldn't post it due to the lack of internet access....


Today was the launch of the “Suse Linux 10.0” by Novell, in Mumbai. I am not a techie and have no idea how great the product is or how is it different from 9.0. Two reasons why I was there –
1. My company is into application servers and we were showcasing that our servers are compatible with Suse Linux 10.
2. I am stationed in Mumbai (at least for now) and hence was the obvious representative of the company.

I sat through the half day event smiling at every passer by, telling them the way to the registration desk as they landed on mine to register themselves. (Now this is something I really hate about men – they see a desk with a pretty woman {I take the liberty to think that I am pretty... you may choose to disagree} and assume that she is there for reception!! BTW there were 2 desks next to me with guys, and no one even bothered to ask them. It’s all about the perception!!!!). I could also blame this on the fact that there was no poster on or around my desk to indicate which company I was representing!! Being visible makes all the difference….

I personally believe that the Pramati application server is a brilliant product. It is technically much better than its competitors (the 2 giants whom I will not name here, lest I get sued!!), and it’s priced at less than half of what they charge. The product is architected and managed by a team of geniuses (who also contribute to the Java standards committee and are on the expert groups). It was the first one globally to be certified on J2EE standards. Yet it has not received its due credit in the market. That’s because not many people know that it is such a brilliant product. It’s all about the perception!!

This takes me to the question – “What is a successful product?” Can we define the success of any product by the revenue it generates? Or can we define it by the loyalty of its customer base, however small. Have I made a good product if it sells like hot cakes? Or should I be happy with 10% market share if those who use it vouch for the product’s capability! I will not even attempt to answer these questions; I will leave it to the marketing gurus!

In my opinion, a good product and a successful product are mutually exclusive. A good product is not necessarily successful and vice versa.
If you invest (time and/or money) in something, you owe it to yourself to get something out of it (unless of course you are into social welfare); and you owe it to the product to ensure its publicity (it’s your baby after all!!) It’s all about the perception!! People make opinions based on what they hear and what they see. Isn’t that the essence of branding!

I sat in the event knowing that I am representing the best product, but my competitor has the brand and the visibility. They spend heavily on marketing, and it does pay off. I want to tell everyone how my product is better than theirs, but people have already formed an opinion – ‘the bigger the better’; and probability is that I will not even get a chance to say it out. Even if I do, the truth will not be heard because they have created so much noise about themselves.
It’s all about the perception!!!

P.S. Please note that the opinions mentioned here are strictly my own, and do not reflect that of my employer. I have written the above in my personal capacity, in my personal space, and should not be interpreted as being related to my employer.

....

The rains have stopped, the sun is shining bright, the clouds have dispersed and so has the gloom. It’s a clear day and everything looks different – may not be better, but at least clearer.

It’s a funny feeling. You are scared of losing it when you have it, you are desperate and helpless when you see it slipping away, and then one fine day, you know you have lost it..
And you are calm and cool.. coz you don’t know how to react to this situation.. You have spent so long worrying about this, but never once thought that this was a real possibility.
It’s the question that you wanted answered, but didn’t want to hear what you heard.
It sinks in slowly, poisoning your entire system, making you bitter to everything else.

But like I said, things may not be better, but at least they are clearer

Hope...

Hope keeps me alive, and it kills me every day

It has been a pleasant day today, after a week of terrible and intolerable heat. It's surprising how the smallest things in life can cheer you up so much. Just last night I was in such an irritable mood (I didn't even remember why, when I woke up this morning). But I have been happy today, for no reason at all (blame it on the weather). It's an unusual and the most unlikely day to be happy though, for 2 reasons

(1) My clothes have been stolen from the laundry room!!! Yeah, you heard it right!!!
(2) I have five cents in my pocket, and that's ALL that I have. So in effect, I am broke for now.

I have more clothes than I can count or handle (not my fault!; it's all because of the sale season which never seems to end!!), but I love each one of them. I treat them like my babies. So, today being a Sunday, I decided to give a few of them a hot water bath. I put them in the dryer so that they don't catch a cold after their refreshing bath. After about 45 min (that's how long they take to dry) when I went to pick them up, I realized that some of them are missing. Now, this is strange.. I swear I had left them there.. I looked all around, but no trace of them... I did not know whether to cry at the loss or laugh at the person who took the pains to steal someone's worn clothes!!!! What kind of a sicko would do such a thing? And if you are stealing, you can't be a chooser!! You cant choose to take the ones that you like (and surprisingly my favorites as well) and leave the others behind. They feel neglected and unwanted! You just can't do it. You should be an equal opportunity thief, woman! ( I am assuming it will be a woman, coz I do not like the idea of a guy stealing a girl's clothes).

I spent 2 full hours debating if I should brood over the gone clothes or just let it be. Then I decided to just pray that whoever has taken them, takes good care and that they are happy in their new found home. This situation calls for a cigarette, so I looked for one, only to find that there aren't any left in the pack. Time for some shopping!!!! So I went to the store and asked for a pack.
“$4”, she told me. I promptly took out my card and gave it to her. She looked at me and with a finger, pointed right behind me. I was confused – what is she trying to do?? Show me the finger?? Nonetheless, I looked in the direction of that 'stiff' finger. “Cards accepted only for purchase more than $5”. The first thought that crossed my mind was, “that's wrong English, dude!”. But I decided to let it pass. Aware of the fact that I only have 5 cents, I told her to make it 2 packs, and paid using the card. Thank Lord for the plastic world!!

They say, you miss a thing most after you have lost it. Yeah, I am missing 'money' – really, not kidding. On the way back, I thought all the times when I could have controlled myself and NOT been so generous. (No, I am not talking about my shopping sprees, they are all essential). I thought of this Sunday a few weeks ago, when a school boy rung my door bell, and told me how he was working part time to pay for his school. I promptly gave him a $20 bill.... then there was this another time when just outside the Albertsons, I was approached by a girl who told me how she was lost and her bag was stolen and she had no money. I promptly have her a $20 bill. All my frens gave me a disgusted look and told me how I was out of my mind... Yeah I know, maybe it was a stupid thing to do.... but I look at it this way.. if she was lying and I gave her the money.. not that bad.. all I lost was 20 bucks.. but if she was telling the truth and I didn't give her money... too bad, she would have lost faith! That's gonna be bad. So I always settle for the seemingly better option. What say, pals?

Whatever, but I do miss those 40 bucks today.. I really do..And I am thinking... what if I stand outside Albertsons and ask for some money??? Would anyone give me anything?? I doubt it!!!!!