Monday, November 20, 2006

What's your salary?

This is the nth time I have been asked this – “Don’t mind please, but what’s your salary?” And as always, I am left clueless as to how am I supposed to tackle this question diplomatically.

What comes to my mind is this – “You f$%#er, I am not a great friend of yours, nor do I intend to be one. It is my bloody problem to see how much I get paid.. and let me handle it. So why don’t you just mind your own f$%#ing business and leave my salary to my humble self.”

But what I end up saying is this - “Well, *a constipated smile*.. ahem… I guess it’s enough to keep me happy.. *smile*”

Just why cant people understand that there is a subtle line drawn at the work place. You are not supposed to ask such awkward questions amongst your colleagues. And if it’s your senior, you are surely NOT supposed to ask such awkward questions.

My dear, a friendly piece of advice.. I will not tell you, what my salary is today.. but I most certainly will decide yours when its appraisal time!!!!!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

I am being killed!!!!!!!!

“Idiots in the office are just as hazardous to your health as cigarettes, caffeine or greasy food, an eye-opening new study reveals. In fact those dopes can kill you!”
- From the article ‘Working with fools can kill you!’
http://www.clarkhatchthailand.com/TH_healthtips_vol53.htm

I want to laugh .. . I want to roll on the floor and scream my lungs out till tears roll down my eyes… It’s that day of the month… no not THAT day… I meant that day of the month, when you feel like pulling your hair apart.. When you reach your tolerance limits and beyond that.. when you discover the nerves, u never knew existed in your skull… when there is nothing you can do.. when u go hysteric…and u want to laugh .. at your own plight!!!!

“You can cut back on smoking or improve your diet but most people have very poor coping skills when it comes to stupidity - they feel there is nothing they can do about it, so they internalize their frustration until they finally explode. Many people feel sorry for the drooling idiots they work with, so they try to cover for them by fixing their mistakes”
- From the article ‘Working with fools can kill you!’

I have to admit that when I first read the above article, I thought this was some kind of a joke.. but I owe the authors an apology for doubting the authenticity and seriousness of their work. Forgive me, O learned ones, forgive me, for I knew not that they existed!!!

Its been only 10 days in my new job.. and I am already writing this.. I am surprised at myself .. and I am surprised at those who have driven me to this… I am compelled to believe that there will be a day when the world will be full of idiots, because the other species will perish under the stress levels that idiots will cause them.
Hail stupidity!!! Hail idiocy!!! Death to excellence!! Hail mediocrity!!! Stupidity is the greatest virtue of all. While it helps you eliminate competition from work (it’s difficult to cope with your stupidity – they will either quit or join your genre), it also helps you to be ignorant of the damage you are doing to the world. And ignorance is bliss, remember!!!!

I couldn’t agree more that most people have poor coping skills when it comes to stupidity.. And I have no qualms in saying that my capacity for the same is near zero (call me a bad manager if that makes u feel better!). The only disagreement I have is that I don’t feel sorry for idiots. I feel sorry for those around them.. I feel sorry for myself for being in the same place as them!!! And I don’t want to cover up for idiots... I want to eliminate them.. I strongly believe that they have no right to exist.. if you cant survive on your own, you should not be allowed to survive.. Believe me, it’s a war; we have to kill them, before they kill us. There has to be and I repeat, has to be the “survival of the fittest” rule in life. (Am I sounding like Hitler???!!!! Oh god, no!!!)

It’s time we took some lessons from Mother Nature. She had intended that only the best of all species should survive. If you let the weaker ones exist, they ruin everything (and everyone) surrounding them and deteriorate the coming generations. Mediocrity becomes acceptable and non-performance becomes an attitude.

The entire animal kingdom (with the exception of mankind) follows the ground rules laid down by nature. In a pack of lions, only the healthy cubs are allowed to live. When they grow up, they are not spoon-fed. They have to hunt for themselves. If they can’t feed themselves, they will perish. When lions wish to mate, they have to prove themselves and win the female. The lioness allows only the best of the lot to mate with her so that she can pass on the best genes to her off-springs. The weaker ones do not breed, thus ensuring that only the best generations follow.
We, humans, have screwed it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S.: If any of you is wondering why am I over reacting, you have to step in my shoes. I promise, the lunch is on me!!!!
If any of my bosses is reading it, I must tell you that I am not such a bad manager after all :). Thanks to my acting skills!!!!

Monday, November 06, 2006

Welcome home

I am back after the 2-month long self-imposed exile. People who care for me (or at least I think that they do) have been complaining about my disappearing act .. and the fact that I chose not to talk to anybody (it’s the “you could have talked to ‘ME’ at least!! I thought we were the closest buddies” kind of accusations).

Well.. I needed the time with myself … I needed the time away from everything else.. away from everyone else.. I needed to mourn the death of something… death of the goodness in me.

Just when I was learning to care; was beginning to be less cynical about life and people; just when I was transitioning from the formal ‘good-to-see-u-smile’ - that I have perfected over years in a sales role - to a broader ‘love-my-life’ smile – I crash landed into the “Fuck-I-care” zone, which I was so desperately trying to get out of.... It hurt a lot, I broke a few bones.. killed a few emotions.. but I survived. It was a painful and a slow recovery .. but I survived none-the-less.

I am fully recovered now, back in action.. and happily settled in my FIC zone.
Welcome home, MJS.