I want

“Bheegi bheegi raate, bheegi bheegi yaaden , bheegi bheegi baate, aakho mein kaisi nami hai..
Sapno ka saya, palko pe aaya, pal mein hasaya, pal mein rulaya, jeevan mein kaisi kami hai..
Na jaane koi...Kaisi hai ye zindgani... humari adhoori kahani.....”
While the song plays in the background, I have something in my mind.. something that has been there .. something which is testing my (self-proclaimed) strength, patience and tolerance...

Have you ever, at some point in your life, had a nagging thought in your head?..the one that you cannot put a finger on... the one you so desperately want to run away from.. trying everything in your capacity to get it out of your head.. but it is always there at the back of your mind.. you know it's somewhere there.. and you dread it... and you still don't know what it is..... or maybe you do.. but just don't want to accept it!!!! Have you ever felt that acute sense of helplessness?

YOU out of all the people should know what I am feeling. You should know coz you are supposed to.. isn't that why we came together in the first place – because you understood me?? Because u knew exactly how I felt? Because we could relate to each other so well???

I want to change something... around me.. involving me.. I want to make things better..

I want to change a lot of things.. a lot of things between us... I want to change everything that wasn't supposed to be like this.. everything that isn't like we want it to be..

I want to go back in time.. I want to go back to the times we spent with each other... when we felt like kids sneaking out for a movie, yet we loved doing it.

I want to go back to the coffee shop where we spent hours just talking.. talking about you and me.. talking about irrelevant things... things that didn't matter at all.. yet they were so important.. coz we were together.. When I didn't have to say anything coz you knew it even before I had said it.. when we laughed at the craziest jokes.. when we danced to no music at all..

I want to go the beach..when I wanted to drag you in the water.. and you would just refuse to get your feet wet.. and BTW between the two of us, you are the one who knows how to swim..

I want to go back to the room where you hugged me and told me that everything will be fine.. and strangely everything seemed to fall in place.. even if it was only for that one moment.. that one precious moment... When we were there for each other .. when we had no expectations from US.. you were YOU and I was I..

I want to go back to the times we spent with each other - just you and me.
I want to go back....