How much is too much?

The day started with a friend asking for some advice. Now, I am no counselor, nor I am an expert on life (I have screwed up my own, many times!!), but just to make him feel better, I agreed to listen to him and help in any manner that I could. I had no clue how I could be of any real help to someone sitting ten thousand miles away. But that's the beauty of Internet – you can practically connect with the future in real-time. Here I am – on 13th July 2006 just starting the day – talking to someone who has already lived the 13th of July 2006 in his life.

He asked me the question that I am sure at least 10000 others are asking themselves day and night - “How do you know when to stop looking for something better?”. And I could clearly see that he had commitment issues. So I asked him to stop beating around the bush. We spoke about it at length and I tried my best to give him my perspective – an outside and unbiased view. But in the end, its you my friend, who has to take a decision; I can only give you my opinion on the matter.

I remember a story that I had once heard -

There was a man with a particularly long instrument – 25 inches. He consulted various doctors, but none helped. Finally he went to a witch doctor.
She told him - “Go to the jungle pond. There is a she-frog in there, call for her. Ask her if she will marry you. Every time she says NO, your instrument will reduce by 5 inches.”
He decided to try out the new remedy, rushed to the pond and called out for the frog. “Will you marry me?”, he asked her.
The frog was utterly confused and said, “No, Thank you.”
Viola! The instrument reduced by 5 inches!!!!!
“Will you marry me?”, he asked again.
“No, thank you.”, the frog replied.
The man was nearly jumping with excitement. This damn thing works!!!!
“Will you marry me?”, he asked again.
To this, the frog replied - “how many times do I have to tell you this, NO NO NO!”

Moral of the story – You should know when to stop.

Having said that, I want to mention that I personally do like people who are optimistic and are always looking for the better – they are the ones who bring about change in the world; But I also believe that there is a very thin line between optimism and stupidity. And I respect those who know when to draw the line. I still respect you, my friend, for your attitude and the fire in your belly.

I have always been of the opinion that Life is not about making the right decisions. It is about making timely decisions. You can fight anything but time; it runs out on you faster than you can think. And so I would rather make a decision and regret it, than not make a decision and regret. Look at this way – all the inventions have been bettered over a period of time, but if the inventors kept waiting for the better before they released the first version, nothing would have happened. We all would still be reading white papers and waiting to see anything in working condition.

Similarly in relationships – If I kept waiting for someone better to come by before I committed to anyone, I would wake up one morning to find that I have wasted 10 precious years of my life (the only one I got) and I would still be alone (and also very lonely). I am convinced that in a world full of billions of people, there have to be more than one who will match your frequency and will be the right match for you (or so you will think). You can either keep looking for the best (which will always be questionable if you are still waiting for someone better!!) or you can choose the one that seems to be the perfect match at that moment. It all depends on what you want to do – do you want to wait 10 years and then realize that maybe the ones you did let go, were the ones you always wanted; or you want to trust your gut feeling and go ahead to enjoy life with the one you think is right, at this very moment.

The one person I really really respect for this is RS. I look up to her for the way she controls her life and for how clear she is in what she wants. She makes her own decisions and lives by them. I am sure we all could learn a bit from her. I have learned a lot in the little time that I have known her.

Life is precious, my dear. Every moment of it will come only once – live it. Make your decisions carefully, but make them timely. There is no point in making a "right" decision when the context of it, has already become history and parameters of life have changed.

I have no answer to the complex question – How much is too much? - but all I can say is – it is never enough. The human desire is insatiable. Someone once mentioned to me that Life is a series of foothills. Only when you reach at the summit of one, do you see the next higher hill. But YOU got do decide when to draw the line, coz its your life after all.