The analysis continues

This gentleman called RD – I place him in category 3. (and I make sure that I let him know). He does not seem to pick up subtle hints, so I have the below to say to him.

This post is a draft of email which will go out to him very soon.
The only reason this is here and not on its way to him as yet, is coz I am waiting for the “right” time and of course, still improvising it, so that the message is EXTREMELY clear.

Dear RD,
It pains me to add ‘dear’ to your name, but I have to, coz unlike you, I actually have some corporate communication etiquettes.

Below are a few of my observations. You may want to work on them (or maybe not, I couldn’t care less – either ways I have no respect for you).

1. You don’t know how to write corporate emails, nor do you have the brains to learn.

2. Multiple ‘requests’ made to you to add PLEASE in your email, have been in vain.

3. Your mails are more like “1st prize winner in an essay writing competition”,

4. You have a knack for digging out 1 year old emails, which run into 4 pages, and pointing out something which was written on line no 214 of your email.

5. You believe that the CEO and COO of the organization are your “best” buddies coz they happened to pat you on your back some god forsaken time.

6. You also believe that the COO has no other work to do, but to read your ‘essays’ and its his prime duty attend to you within the next 4 hours.

7. You strongly feel that copying the CEO on ALL your mails makes you important in the organization.

8. Your limited vocabulary does not let you differentiate between “support” and “subordination”.

9. I admire your confidence when you believe that you have added quantifiable value to the entire system, and it’s not your problem that the quantum stands at ZERO.

10. You have so brilliantly managed to leave an impact on my entire team – ONE email from you, and they are unable to concentrate on work for the next 30 minutes!!!!!! That’s some achievement!

11. EVERY team member assigned to you, requests to shift to some other team – within 2 months of working with you!!

12. I just love your responses, when you say – “I don’t have the time to do that kind of thing”. And BTW may I remind you that “that-kind-of-thing” is exactly what your job is?

I wish you all the luck that you may have, for your future (coz you really need lady luck on your side - you haven’t anything else with you).