Man or woman?

The title is a question I have on my mind lately. It is also a question that many have asked me at different occasions and times. I hadn’t given much thought to it, but now I guess it’s high time.

I clearly remember being a tom boy when I was a kid; it didn’t seem to be so bad after all – not until now. Mom was worried about it, but Dad never cared. He always told me – Tu to Sher ka baccha hai!!! (Back then I missed to notice the use of bachha instead of bacchi). I would beat up boys and return home victorious, only to be beaten up by Mom. The beating was most often followed by an argument between my parents which always ended with Mom’s tear filled kya hoga iska, ye aisi kyu hai? and Dad’s arrogant kyuki wo meri beti hai!

When I went to college, I knew I wasn’t like the other girls. Not that I didn’t want to be; but probably I just didn’t care about it then. While others were given titles like “Rose Queen” and “Miss Adaa”, the boys bestowed the “Coveted Cat Crown” on me for 4 years in a row!!! Needless to say, there were only a rare few who had the balls to come up to me to talk and most of them never returned. So in short, I never had guys running after me like other girls did.

At my 1st job 7 years ago, my boss happened to say that he needed more men like me in the team. I thought of it as a compliment back then. But thinking about it now – more men like me???? Excuse me???!!!!

I didn’t think much about all this, until recently. The last 4 months have been funny. I have had subtle comments like “Shut up man” to more direct ones “you think you are a girl, huh?”
The last nail in the coffin was when I had to ask someone out for dinner (this is the same someone whom I have asked for dinner earlier and he has refused; ref Expert comments, please). I asked him, “The lady wishes to take you out for dinner, if your schedule permits” and he turned around with a grin, “Lady, huh? Where is the lady?”

I wasn’t yet over this shock, when my (current) boss told me, “You are one of the few men I have in the team!” And then there are those occasional – No actually its frequent – we don’t count you in the girls’ clan!

Now, I am thinking (seriously thinking) if something is genuinely wrong somewhere!! What is it that makes me a man? And is this supposed to be derogatory? Given that it has always been men who think I was a man, does this mean that they relate to me as one of their own; or does this mean that when they look at me, they don’t get the “nice” feeling, that they usually get when they look at a woman!.

I mean I KNOW for sure that I DON’T LOOK LIKE A MAN! Maybe I behave like one *rolling eyes*
But then how do men behave? hmm.. ok.. they letch at women... Do I letch at women? No I am certain that I don’t. Then what is it that I do, that makes me a man?
Ok, I accept that I eat people alive, but not all men that I know do that. Does that make them a woman? If not, then, why me?

HELP!!!!!