I took the "How much can you love" test on Facebook! (OK OK.. I know.. what a loser.. but at 1:00 AM when I can't sleep at all.. need something to kill time, you see!)
You are an "unconditional lover" it said!
Unconditional, huh? What's that? Am I really an unconditional lover? Or is it something I would want to be? Is it something I believe I am?
It would have been more appropriate if they said, I am an obsessive lover. I could relate to THAT!
I don't know if I can love someone unconditionally, but I do know that I love someone obsessively. That's just the way I am.. I live life on the extreme. There is no mid-way for me, not for love.. not for life.
And you don't have to love me back if I love you... I will continue to love you the same as long as I will..
Having said that, it does not mean that I don't compromise.. I do when and where it's needed.. (I guess that's what they call mellowing down with age and responsibility)
But deep in my heart, I still am obsessive!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Thursday, April 09, 2009
flicked from Aanchal's gtalk tagline
Life is short, break rules, forgive quickly, kiss passionately, love truly, laugh constantly. And never stop smiling no matter how strange life is..
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Reciprocal love
Someone once told me – “In any relationship, both persons never love the same”.
I may not have believed it then, but I believe it now. One of them always loves more than the other.
That’s just how it is. Maybe, it can’t be generalized. But it holds true for me, and maybe it also holds true for that someone who told me this in the 1st place.
Love is never reciprocated in the same intensity. I don’t even know how you measure love so don’t know if the above statement can be validated or quantified.
Scenario:
-----------
You wait everyday for a phone call. Then you swallow your pride (careful choice of words – pride, not ego, mind it!), and reach out. You have a brief conversation, and then there's “I will call you later tonight”. You wait for tonight. No call. You wait for tomorrow. No call.
This continues for weeks, and then months. The mental grief it gives you is beyond words.
And then one fine day, you give up and don’t call or reach out. You just drop it!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And suddenly you come to terms with yourself and with everything else. Does that mean you have stopped loving? No. Not necessarily.
But you have certainly stopped expecting, and it doesn’t change anything in anyone’s life. Nothing at all – Only yours. . Once you come to terms with reality, it puts you at ease. Complete peace.
No expectations. No one owes you anything. Maybe an explanation – maybe not even that. Because it doesn’t matter anymore.
P.S. Just when I was posting this, I read – “The brightest future will always be based on forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life, until you let go of past failures and heart aches”
Bang on! How true. As if my mind has been just read! Only – when do you know it’s past? When do you know that thin line between past and present has been crossed over?
I may not have believed it then, but I believe it now. One of them always loves more than the other.
That’s just how it is. Maybe, it can’t be generalized. But it holds true for me, and maybe it also holds true for that someone who told me this in the 1st place.
Love is never reciprocated in the same intensity. I don’t even know how you measure love so don’t know if the above statement can be validated or quantified.
Scenario:
-----------
You wait everyday for a phone call. Then you swallow your pride (careful choice of words – pride, not ego, mind it!), and reach out. You have a brief conversation, and then there's “I will call you later tonight”. You wait for tonight. No call. You wait for tomorrow. No call.
This continues for weeks, and then months. The mental grief it gives you is beyond words.
And then one fine day, you give up and don’t call or reach out. You just drop it!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And suddenly you come to terms with yourself and with everything else. Does that mean you have stopped loving? No. Not necessarily.
But you have certainly stopped expecting, and it doesn’t change anything in anyone’s life. Nothing at all – Only yours. . Once you come to terms with reality, it puts you at ease. Complete peace.
No expectations. No one owes you anything. Maybe an explanation – maybe not even that. Because it doesn’t matter anymore.
P.S. Just when I was posting this, I read – “The brightest future will always be based on forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life, until you let go of past failures and heart aches”
Bang on! How true. As if my mind has been just read! Only – when do you know it’s past? When do you know that thin line between past and present has been crossed over?
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Journey to Motherhood
In less than 15 days I am expecting my 1st (and for now the only) baby.
It’s been quite an exciting journey till now:
from “f%^#-I-m-pregnant” 1st month,
to “Oh-baby-we’re-gonna-have-a-baby” 2nd month
to “what-will-we-call-the-baby” 4th month
to “oops-I-forgot-I-m-pregnant” 6th month
to “OMG-when-will-this-get-over” 9th month!
Actually I haven’t quite “felt” the pregnancy (if you know what I mean) coz I was working regular (read inhuman!) hours until the beginning of 9th month. And I am still working from home while my parents are losing sleep worrying that I can deliver anytime!!!!! (Though I am not sure if my baby is in a hurry to meet her mum, knowing how much time her mum has given her while she was inside).
But working from home gives me much more time at hand to think and plan for my baby. Tasks, much needed for the baby, which I have finally managed to accomplish, though late in the day:
1. Zero down on a name!!!! That’s an achievement I tell you.
2. Be regular with my eating habits
3. Have my medicines on time
4. Exercise a little, go for walks.
5. Relax myself, and tell myself repeatedly that everything else can wait
6. Be regular with my doctor’s appointments
7. Drop everything else and go for my medical tests
8. Have a foot massage as often as I want / need
9. Sleep when and as often as I want to; given that I can’t sleep at nights due to the weight of the baby, a 30 min afternoon nap is a god-sent!
10. Keep myself off the fire-fighting at work, unless it’s really a fire
I love this time, but as I said – the wait is so boring and frustrating, I am desperate to meet the baby now!
P.S: Was speaking with my husband today and was briefing him on my doctor’s appointment; told him that the doc has asked me to monitor the baby’s movements every two hours now. “I don’t have a life, I tell you”, I said. “You were not supposed to have an independent life, since the day you conceived our baby. I am glad you finally realized it”, pat came the reply!
It’s been quite an exciting journey till now:
from “f%^#-I-m-pregnant” 1st month,
to “Oh-baby-we’re-gonna-have-a-baby” 2nd month
to “what-will-we-call-the-baby” 4th month
to “oops-I-forgot-I-m-pregnant” 6th month
to “OMG-when-will-this-get-over” 9th month!
Actually I haven’t quite “felt” the pregnancy (if you know what I mean) coz I was working regular (read inhuman!) hours until the beginning of 9th month. And I am still working from home while my parents are losing sleep worrying that I can deliver anytime!!!!! (Though I am not sure if my baby is in a hurry to meet her mum, knowing how much time her mum has given her while she was inside).
But working from home gives me much more time at hand to think and plan for my baby. Tasks, much needed for the baby, which I have finally managed to accomplish, though late in the day:
1. Zero down on a name!!!! That’s an achievement I tell you.
2. Be regular with my eating habits
3. Have my medicines on time
4. Exercise a little, go for walks.
5. Relax myself, and tell myself repeatedly that everything else can wait
6. Be regular with my doctor’s appointments
7. Drop everything else and go for my medical tests
8. Have a foot massage as often as I want / need
9. Sleep when and as often as I want to; given that I can’t sleep at nights due to the weight of the baby, a 30 min afternoon nap is a god-sent!
10. Keep myself off the fire-fighting at work, unless it’s really a fire
I love this time, but as I said – the wait is so boring and frustrating, I am desperate to meet the baby now!
P.S: Was speaking with my husband today and was briefing him on my doctor’s appointment; told him that the doc has asked me to monitor the baby’s movements every two hours now. “I don’t have a life, I tell you”, I said. “You were not supposed to have an independent life, since the day you conceived our baby. I am glad you finally realized it”, pat came the reply!
Friday, March 06, 2009
I am off!
I go off work from 15th March… at least for some time… say 3 – 4 months or maybe even 6.
I am so looking forward to the break. This is the 1st time in God knows how many years that I will be taking a break from hectic, senseless, mindless, 9am-11pm routine in life. There is so much I need to do .. wake up at 1030 am (if I get to sleep at night that is!), just lying around in the bed.. have a bath at 1:00 pm.. late lunches.. lazy afternoons, evening movies, books.. blah blah blah..
On the other hand, long breaks scare me. Being the workaholic that I am, I am not sure how I will cope up with just sitting at home and not attending office at all! Haven’t done it before.. 7-10 days between jobs is fine.. but months seem just too long.
Also, what awaits me during the break (and for a lifetime after that) is more time-consuming, hectic and stressful. I may not have any time for my plans at all! Who knows!
But I am sure that it won’t be senseless. Even if it’s stressful, I look forward to the stress. I may not get any sleep, but I look forward to the sleepless nights….
I look forward to one tiny creature calling me mummy.
I am so looking forward to the break. This is the 1st time in God knows how many years that I will be taking a break from hectic, senseless, mindless, 9am-11pm routine in life. There is so much I need to do .. wake up at 1030 am (if I get to sleep at night that is!), just lying around in the bed.. have a bath at 1:00 pm.. late lunches.. lazy afternoons, evening movies, books.. blah blah blah..
On the other hand, long breaks scare me. Being the workaholic that I am, I am not sure how I will cope up with just sitting at home and not attending office at all! Haven’t done it before.. 7-10 days between jobs is fine.. but months seem just too long.
Also, what awaits me during the break (and for a lifetime after that) is more time-consuming, hectic and stressful. I may not have any time for my plans at all! Who knows!
But I am sure that it won’t be senseless. Even if it’s stressful, I look forward to the stress. I may not get any sleep, but I look forward to the sleepless nights….
I look forward to one tiny creature calling me mummy.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Jelly Belly!
The title of the post is my current state. My belly has been moving like a jelly pudding for quite some time now, and it seems to have a mind of its own. It decides to shake at its own will and pace, more so when I am in the middle of something important. I guess this is coz the little one inside the belly has developed a mind of its own now!
And it’s a weird feeling – while it is annoying to have your stomach move up and down without your control (and it hurts as well at time), it is also cute to stare at it doing its own thing!
This is the 1st time I am writing about the baby. I wonder why I haven’t written about him/her for so long – I have had him (her) for 7 months now!!! Thinking about it (though a little too late), I am at the tail end of my pregnancy and I haven’t had any time to enjoy it or think about it or day dream about how my baby would be, or what I would do when it arrives.
All I have been doing all this while is work, work and some more work and somewhere I have lost what people claim to be “the best time of your life”
And its no one’s fault but mine. Probably, I take my work too seriously… so seriously that others take it for granted. But then its not just work, I take life too seriously I guess.. Never a good thing.
Why am I thinking about it now? Coz, I have been enlightened over the weekend.
It was the valentine weekend and we had a deliverable to meet (extended deadline, after having missed 2 already). And while I was busy fretting and frowning and trying to calm an irate client, I realized that my team was busy celebrating the V-day with no access to emails!!! WOW!!!!
Whatever happened to the good old days when bosses would delegate the work and carry on with their lives, while the team would feel it’s their responsibility to deliver???
The problem is that I am not the "delegate-and-forget", but my boss is!!!! Quite a situation isn’t it?
In spite of my reputation as a task master, I still haven’t asked anyone in my team to put down their papers.. my bad.. I have tried to always give the non-performers enough time to improve and show results… But it's time for heads to roll, I guess!!! I need to put my foot down at some time – and this is the time!
If I have to slog my arse out, might as well save costs!
And it’s a weird feeling – while it is annoying to have your stomach move up and down without your control (and it hurts as well at time), it is also cute to stare at it doing its own thing!
This is the 1st time I am writing about the baby. I wonder why I haven’t written about him/her for so long – I have had him (her) for 7 months now!!! Thinking about it (though a little too late), I am at the tail end of my pregnancy and I haven’t had any time to enjoy it or think about it or day dream about how my baby would be, or what I would do when it arrives.
All I have been doing all this while is work, work and some more work and somewhere I have lost what people claim to be “the best time of your life”
And its no one’s fault but mine. Probably, I take my work too seriously… so seriously that others take it for granted. But then its not just work, I take life too seriously I guess.. Never a good thing.
Why am I thinking about it now? Coz, I have been enlightened over the weekend.
It was the valentine weekend and we had a deliverable to meet (extended deadline, after having missed 2 already). And while I was busy fretting and frowning and trying to calm an irate client, I realized that my team was busy celebrating the V-day with no access to emails!!! WOW!!!!
Whatever happened to the good old days when bosses would delegate the work and carry on with their lives, while the team would feel it’s their responsibility to deliver???
The problem is that I am not the "delegate-and-forget", but my boss is!!!! Quite a situation isn’t it?
In spite of my reputation as a task master, I still haven’t asked anyone in my team to put down their papers.. my bad.. I have tried to always give the non-performers enough time to improve and show results… But it's time for heads to roll, I guess!!! I need to put my foot down at some time – and this is the time!
If I have to slog my arse out, might as well save costs!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Having a bad day!
I am having a really bad day. I mean REALLY BAD day. BAD in font size 72, bold, underlined!!!!!!
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Happy New Year!
Wishing myself and everyone else a very happy, prosperous and brilliant 2009!!!
May this year bring the best of everything for us and the best of us for everything!!!
A few things I need to do this year, and I intend to stick to these:
1. Practise Yoga, to keep my cool
2. Wake up with a smile EVERY morning
3. Be happy, IRRESPECTIVE!!
4. Lose all the maternity weight that I gained and some more (of course after April!
5. Take some time off from work, for myself and my baby
6. Find a balance between professionalism and motherhood
7. Buy myself a bigger house
8. Learn to love
9. BE loved
10.Scream less!!!!!!
May this year bring the best of everything for us and the best of us for everything!!!
A few things I need to do this year, and I intend to stick to these:
1. Practise Yoga, to keep my cool
2. Wake up with a smile EVERY morning
3. Be happy, IRRESPECTIVE!!
4. Lose all the maternity weight that I gained and some more (of course after April!
5. Take some time off from work, for myself and my baby
6. Find a balance between professionalism and motherhood
7. Buy myself a bigger house
8. Learn to love
9. BE loved
10.Scream less!!!!!!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Happiness..
Someone told me.. "Happiness is a conscious decision and not an automatic state of mind"..
And I thought, If I have to make a decision to be happy, that's exactly what I would call a compromise. And to me compromise and happiness never go hand in hand. Happiness has to be and should be an automatic state of mind.
If I had to make conscious efforts to be happy, then clearly I am not!
P.S: And not being happy DOES NOT translate to being unhappy! There is a state called nuetral (or indifferent), where I am most of the time and trust me.. it's comfortable.
And I thought, If I have to make a decision to be happy, that's exactly what I would call a compromise. And to me compromise and happiness never go hand in hand. Happiness has to be and should be an automatic state of mind.
If I had to make conscious efforts to be happy, then clearly I am not!
P.S: And not being happy DOES NOT translate to being unhappy! There is a state called nuetral (or indifferent), where I am most of the time and trust me.. it's comfortable.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I m tired...
Oh God, I am tired and like how...
I am dealing with fools, and fools who think they are smart!
There are people who ARE smart,
then there are those who THINK they are smart,
and then there are those who ACT really smart.
I don't know which ones are more injurious to your health - the 2nd or the 3rd kind! I think a combination of 2 and 3 is absolutely lethal - and that's exactly what I am struggling with right now!
Not that I don't know how to set it right, just that I am avoiding taking any extreme measures at the moment. Don't know how long will my patience last.
I am dealing with fools, and fools who think they are smart!
There are people who ARE smart,
then there are those who THINK they are smart,
and then there are those who ACT really smart.
I don't know which ones are more injurious to your health - the 2nd or the 3rd kind! I think a combination of 2 and 3 is absolutely lethal - and that's exactly what I am struggling with right now!
Not that I don't know how to set it right, just that I am avoiding taking any extreme measures at the moment. Don't know how long will my patience last.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Irony!
What do you say to a boss who calls for a meeting when you have packed up, talks for 45 minutes, spends time talking on his phone while 5 others wait for him to finish, and as soon as you have a point to make, tells you "can you please make it fast, I have lots of work to do. Our problem is that we talk a lot in meetings."
Well, if it was anywhere else, I could have slapped and walked out. But I guess you have to be more patient with your boss than your husband.
That's the irony of life.
Well, if it was anywhere else, I could have slapped and walked out. But I guess you have to be more patient with your boss than your husband.
That's the irony of life.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
i am back
Finally I am back. Dunno for how long, but today I just had to scribble something... Whatever...
Its been a long time... A lot has changed... Some for the better... But that's not what is important here. And some of it too important to mention...
Life has changed dramatically for a sweet reason. But that isn't the reason I am back.
Someone at work (now under regular circumstances someone would think more than twice before coming upto me and say something like that) suggested that I read a book called "the secret". I admit that had never heard of this book before (I am not much of a reader and we all know that) so I googled about the book on my way back home this evening. Couldn't get detailed information coz was googling on phone, but I could get a fair idea on what the book was all about.
"reading this book will improve your life and your relationships dramatically.... " blah blah it said.
And I wondered what prompted this gentleman to walk upto me and suggest this book to me? Has my irritation become so fucking obvious that random people can suggest ways of improving my life? Maybe... Its possible...
And I thot that I was better off when I was here... I shouldn't have cared a damn about what anyone thought of what I wrote...I was a much pleasant person back then. This is my space and this is where I belong.
So here I am.. I am back.. And I care a fuck!!
Its been a long time... A lot has changed... Some for the better... But that's not what is important here. And some of it too important to mention...
Life has changed dramatically for a sweet reason. But that isn't the reason I am back.
Someone at work (now under regular circumstances someone would think more than twice before coming upto me and say something like that) suggested that I read a book called "the secret". I admit that had never heard of this book before (I am not much of a reader and we all know that) so I googled about the book on my way back home this evening. Couldn't get detailed information coz was googling on phone, but I could get a fair idea on what the book was all about.
"reading this book will improve your life and your relationships dramatically.... " blah blah it said.
And I wondered what prompted this gentleman to walk upto me and suggest this book to me? Has my irritation become so fucking obvious that random people can suggest ways of improving my life? Maybe... Its possible...
And I thot that I was better off when I was here... I shouldn't have cared a damn about what anyone thought of what I wrote...I was a much pleasant person back then. This is my space and this is where I belong.
So here I am.. I am back.. And I care a fuck!!
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Adios.....
I am abandoning this space... well, abandoning may not be the right word, deserting.. or closing.. or shutting down.. or whatever is the word that is used for blogs... the fact remains.. this is the last post... I do not wish to write any more, I do not wish to talk any more, I do not wish to opine anymore.
The reason this space came into existance was, coz I wanted to voice my opinions, express my thoughts, share me feelings.. with no one in particular.. maybe with myself. The space was an attempt at me-time.
What this space turned out to be in due course is people reading what I write, interpreting it in ways they would like, and judging me. I could possibly stand up and say, like I always do, that I care a F&^k about people's judgements, but this time I won't, coz I do.
Expressing yourself is not such a good idea after all. Expressing yourself to someone who doesn't really care, is absolutely fatal.
So here are my goodbyes... and many thanks for the patience and tolerance that you have shown towards me in all these years. I would like you to know that I really appreciate.
I don't know when I will see you again, I don't even know IF I will ever see you again.
The reason this space came into existance was, coz I wanted to voice my opinions, express my thoughts, share me feelings.. with no one in particular.. maybe with myself. The space was an attempt at me-time.
What this space turned out to be in due course is people reading what I write, interpreting it in ways they would like, and judging me. I could possibly stand up and say, like I always do, that I care a F&^k about people's judgements, but this time I won't, coz I do.
Expressing yourself is not such a good idea after all. Expressing yourself to someone who doesn't really care, is absolutely fatal.
So here are my goodbyes... and many thanks for the patience and tolerance that you have shown towards me in all these years. I would like you to know that I really appreciate.
I don't know when I will see you again, I don't even know IF I will ever see you again.
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Blood is thicker than water...
.. And I believe in it like never before.
Some things never change, and some things do.
But life goes on.. Or maybe it doesn't... Who cares anymore!
Some things never change, and some things do.
But life goes on.. Or maybe it doesn't... Who cares anymore!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
What’s the difference?
A father and daughter were crossing a bridge.
The father said, “Hold my hand, the water is dangerous”.
The daughter replied, “No dad, you hold my hand”
“What’s the difference?” Dad wanted to know.
The daughter said, “If I hold your hand, and something happens I might let go coz I am scared. But I know for sure that you won’t let go of my hand, whatever may come”
Well, there isn’t much difference in who holds the hand, but there is a helluva lot of difference!!
The father said, “Hold my hand, the water is dangerous”.
The daughter replied, “No dad, you hold my hand”
“What’s the difference?” Dad wanted to know.
The daughter said, “If I hold your hand, and something happens I might let go coz I am scared. But I know for sure that you won’t let go of my hand, whatever may come”
Well, there isn’t much difference in who holds the hand, but there is a helluva lot of difference!!
Monday, May 26, 2008
First thoughts!
I got tagged by Suruchi.. so I shall do this, and try to be as honest as I can.
As per the tag,you have to write the first thing that comes to your mind when you read first two words!
I AM: a Bitch
I WANT: Everything
I HAVE: Nothing
I WISH: To be alone at times
I HATE: Being tied down
I FEAR: Losing
I SEARCH: Peace
I WONDER: Main aisi kyu hun?
I REGRET: Nothing
I LOVE: Myself
I ALWAYS: Eat, drink and be merry
I AM NOT: Nice
I DANCE: Often
I SING: More often
I CRY: Rarely
I WRITE: to vent
I WON: No, I lost
I AM CONFUSED: Yes I am
I NEED: Peace and clarity
I SHOULD: lose some weight
THE LAST THOUGHT I GO TO SLEEP WITH IS: Hopefully tomorrow will be different!
As per the tag,you have to write the first thing that comes to your mind when you read first two words!
I AM: a Bitch
I WANT: Everything
I HAVE: Nothing
I WISH: To be alone at times
I HATE: Being tied down
I FEAR: Losing
I SEARCH: Peace
I WONDER: Main aisi kyu hun?
I REGRET: Nothing
I LOVE: Myself
I ALWAYS: Eat, drink and be merry
I AM NOT: Nice
I DANCE: Often
I SING: More often
I CRY: Rarely
I WRITE: to vent
I WON: No, I lost
I AM CONFUSED: Yes I am
I NEED: Peace and clarity
I SHOULD: lose some weight
THE LAST THOUGHT I GO TO SLEEP WITH IS: Hopefully tomorrow will be different!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Women on Top!
No, this post isn't about the "women on top" position.....
This is about the "women on top positions"... actually on why most women don't make it to the top positions in their career!!!
1. When the guy gets promoted, he is promised gifts back home (as a token of appreciation and happiness). When a woman gets promoted, she is asked, "So more work, huh? (lesser time at home)!
2. When a guy is globe trotting, it is a matter of pride for the family. When a woman is globe trotting, she isn't paying much attention at home, and has her priorities messed up!
3. When a guys gets a raise, it's celebration time. When a woman gets a raise, it just means she is money-minded!
4. A guy never has to worry about calling the maid during office hours, to find a replacement when the maid is on a vacation!
5. A guy almost never has to tell his boss, that he can't attend the evening meeting coz the maid hasn't come in to cook today!
6. When a guy comes in late to office cos he had to take his family somewhere, people think, "how cute, he is a true family man". When a womam comes in late, it's, "Oh again? All well?"
7. You never have anyone asking a guy, "Why do you have to work, when your spouse earns enough?"
8. You don't have 10,000 people telling a guy how his family should always be a priority!
9. When you tell a guy "Man, you are lucky to have a wife who accomodates your hectic work life", it is supposed to be appreciative. When you tell a woman, how lucky she is to have a husband who accomodates, it is meant to be derogatory (almost always implying that the woman should work on setting it straight!)
10. A man can carry the work tensions home, coz after all behind every successful man, there's a woman. When a woman carries work tensions home, she is upsetting the home environment! Am yet to hear about a man behind the successful woman!
This is about the "women on top positions"... actually on why most women don't make it to the top positions in their career!!!
1. When the guy gets promoted, he is promised gifts back home (as a token of appreciation and happiness). When a woman gets promoted, she is asked, "So more work, huh? (lesser time at home)!
2. When a guy is globe trotting, it is a matter of pride for the family. When a woman is globe trotting, she isn't paying much attention at home, and has her priorities messed up!
3. When a guys gets a raise, it's celebration time. When a woman gets a raise, it just means she is money-minded!
4. A guy never has to worry about calling the maid during office hours, to find a replacement when the maid is on a vacation!
5. A guy almost never has to tell his boss, that he can't attend the evening meeting coz the maid hasn't come in to cook today!
6. When a guy comes in late to office cos he had to take his family somewhere, people think, "how cute, he is a true family man". When a womam comes in late, it's, "Oh again? All well?"
7. You never have anyone asking a guy, "Why do you have to work, when your spouse earns enough?"
8. You don't have 10,000 people telling a guy how his family should always be a priority!
9. When you tell a guy "Man, you are lucky to have a wife who accomodates your hectic work life", it is supposed to be appreciative. When you tell a woman, how lucky she is to have a husband who accomodates, it is meant to be derogatory (almost always implying that the woman should work on setting it straight!)
10. A man can carry the work tensions home, coz after all behind every successful man, there's a woman. When a woman carries work tensions home, she is upsetting the home environment! Am yet to hear about a man behind the successful woman!
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Man or woman?
The title is a question I have on my mind lately. It is also a question that many have asked me at different occasions and times. I hadn’t given much thought to it, but now I guess it’s high time.
I clearly remember being a tom boy when I was a kid; it didn’t seem to be so bad after all – not until now. Mom was worried about it, but Dad never cared. He always told me – Tu to Sher ka baccha hai!!! (Back then I missed to notice the use of bachha instead of bacchi). I would beat up boys and return home victorious, only to be beaten up by Mom. The beating was most often followed by an argument between my parents which always ended with Mom’s tear filled kya hoga iska, ye aisi kyu hai? and Dad’s arrogant kyuki wo meri beti hai!
When I went to college, I knew I wasn’t like the other girls. Not that I didn’t want to be; but probably I just didn’t care about it then. While others were given titles like “Rose Queen” and “Miss Adaa”, the boys bestowed the “Coveted Cat Crown” on me for 4 years in a row!!! Needless to say, there were only a rare few who had the balls to come up to me to talk and most of them never returned. So in short, I never had guys running after me like other girls did.
At my 1st job 7 years ago, my boss happened to say that he needed more men like me in the team. I thought of it as a compliment back then. But thinking about it now – more men like me???? Excuse me???!!!!
I didn’t think much about all this, until recently. The last 4 months have been funny. I have had subtle comments like “Shut up man” to more direct ones “you think you are a girl, huh?”
The last nail in the coffin was when I had to ask someone out for dinner (this is the same someone whom I have asked for dinner earlier and he has refused; ref Expert comments, please). I asked him, “The lady wishes to take you out for dinner, if your schedule permits” and he turned around with a grin, “Lady, huh? Where is the lady?”
I wasn’t yet over this shock, when my (current) boss told me, “You are one of the few men I have in the team!” And then there are those occasional – No actually its frequent – we don’t count you in the girls’ clan!
Now, I am thinking (seriously thinking) if something is genuinely wrong somewhere!! What is it that makes me a man? And is this supposed to be derogatory? Given that it has always been men who think I was a man, does this mean that they relate to me as one of their own; or does this mean that when they look at me, they don’t get the “nice” feeling, that they usually get when they look at a woman!.
I mean I KNOW for sure that I DON’T LOOK LIKE A MAN! Maybe I behave like one *rolling eyes*
But then how do men behave? hmm.. ok.. they letch at women... Do I letch at women? No I am certain that I don’t. Then what is it that I do, that makes me a man?
Ok, I accept that I eat people alive, but not all men that I know do that. Does that make them a woman? If not, then, why me?
HELP!!!!!
I clearly remember being a tom boy when I was a kid; it didn’t seem to be so bad after all – not until now. Mom was worried about it, but Dad never cared. He always told me – Tu to Sher ka baccha hai!!! (Back then I missed to notice the use of bachha instead of bacchi). I would beat up boys and return home victorious, only to be beaten up by Mom. The beating was most often followed by an argument between my parents which always ended with Mom’s tear filled kya hoga iska, ye aisi kyu hai? and Dad’s arrogant kyuki wo meri beti hai!
When I went to college, I knew I wasn’t like the other girls. Not that I didn’t want to be; but probably I just didn’t care about it then. While others were given titles like “Rose Queen” and “Miss Adaa”, the boys bestowed the “Coveted Cat Crown” on me for 4 years in a row!!! Needless to say, there were only a rare few who had the balls to come up to me to talk and most of them never returned. So in short, I never had guys running after me like other girls did.
At my 1st job 7 years ago, my boss happened to say that he needed more men like me in the team. I thought of it as a compliment back then. But thinking about it now – more men like me???? Excuse me???!!!!
I didn’t think much about all this, until recently. The last 4 months have been funny. I have had subtle comments like “Shut up man” to more direct ones “you think you are a girl, huh?”
The last nail in the coffin was when I had to ask someone out for dinner (this is the same someone whom I have asked for dinner earlier and he has refused; ref Expert comments, please). I asked him, “The lady wishes to take you out for dinner, if your schedule permits” and he turned around with a grin, “Lady, huh? Where is the lady?”
I wasn’t yet over this shock, when my (current) boss told me, “You are one of the few men I have in the team!” And then there are those occasional – No actually its frequent – we don’t count you in the girls’ clan!
Now, I am thinking (seriously thinking) if something is genuinely wrong somewhere!! What is it that makes me a man? And is this supposed to be derogatory? Given that it has always been men who think I was a man, does this mean that they relate to me as one of their own; or does this mean that when they look at me, they don’t get the “nice” feeling, that they usually get when they look at a woman!.
I mean I KNOW for sure that I DON’T LOOK LIKE A MAN! Maybe I behave like one *rolling eyes*
But then how do men behave? hmm.. ok.. they letch at women... Do I letch at women? No I am certain that I don’t. Then what is it that I do, that makes me a man?
Ok, I accept that I eat people alive, but not all men that I know do that. Does that make them a woman? If not, then, why me?
HELP!!!!!
Friday, May 02, 2008
I am back!
Like I had promised.. I am back...
It feels nice to be back in the good old, oh-so-crowded, the-traffic-sucks Mumbai!! This is the place to be.
It feels nice to see the smile the flashes across faces, when you walk into the office after a 2 month break!
It feels nice when people say, Oh shit she is back!
It feels nice to scream at your cook, coz she put dhaniya in the food (damn her, I have been away less than 2 months, and she already forgot my food preferences!!)
It feels lovely to be able to stand on a road side thela and have gol gappas
It feels nice to be back with a difference and a different person. To know that you have a life.. and you can actually live it. To realize that the you in you is still alive somewhere!
It feels nice to be back and in control!!!!!
It feels nice to be back in the good old, oh-so-crowded, the-traffic-sucks Mumbai!! This is the place to be.
It feels nice to see the smile the flashes across faces, when you walk into the office after a 2 month break!
It feels nice when people say, Oh shit she is back!
It feels nice to scream at your cook, coz she put dhaniya in the food (damn her, I have been away less than 2 months, and she already forgot my food preferences!!)
It feels lovely to be able to stand on a road side thela and have gol gappas
It feels nice to be back with a difference and a different person. To know that you have a life.. and you can actually live it. To realize that the you in you is still alive somewhere!
It feels nice to be back and in control!!!!!
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